There is a primary on October 5, and I encourage everyone to come out and vote for me. You may wonder why you should vote for me.
I suppose the best reason I can think of is that I’m one of the two mayoral candidates who did not create this.
It starts crazy, and it only gets weirder and more batshit the further you get into it. The true icing on the cake of “what the fuckery” is the picture he submitted that his mother took when he was in the fifth grade.
Like I said, I didn’t write that document. I think I’ve made my case.
Technically, I am running for Mayor of Keene.
In reality, I have declared myself to be Queen of Keene. You may acknowledge your fealty on October 5, 2021, by voting for me in the primary. I have the benefit of not being a batshit crazycitation needed creep, and of not having been mayor when the town did everything in its power to destroy small businesses while protecting corporate giants like Wal-Mart.
You may remember me from such films as “That Time I Ran For Sheriff as a Republican,” or “When the Government and I had a Mild Disagreement About Bitcoin.” I don’t really have a whole lot to say that I haven’t said before, so feel free to click any of the links here to learn more about me.
In closing, here’s Aasrija, the goodest dog: